When my friend Pete invited me to join him on the so-called “hottest, funnest, 7-day-7-night-all-inclusive Caribbean cruise,” I immediately said, “Do I get to be a lazy piece of crap and loll in the sun all day while mindlessly chugging tropical drinks and gaining 10 pounds on buffet food? That…

Hey, let me give you a little riddle: What tastes like piss, smells like a wet dog, and slowly eats away at your grocery money and your will to live? What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? When I ask this at other parties, you know what people say? They say…

B: Time is an illusion. A: Jesus, Brad. You startled me. I didn’t even realize you were at this coffee shop. B: Hi. Can I sit with you? Do you want to talk philosophy? A: Yeah, sure. Sit down. B: Time is an illusion. A: What do you mean? B…

Do you remember the video games that changed history? I don’t. I barely played them. But why should that stop me from writing a hard-hitting nostalgia article where I tell you their true meaning? I have not researched these games aside from glancing at a few screenshots. Tetris, Gameboy: A…

Sadly, not everyone is a crunchy free-spirit who cherishes our Mother Earth. Use this quiz to identify your crunch deficiencies and commit to personal growth! What’s your standard means of transportation? I drive a big ass Ford F-150 truck. I drive an environmentally-friendly electric car. My liberal friends love it! I ride an antique, pea-green bicycle…

Friends, here’s a little secret: The best way to grow your brand as an influencer is not a huge marketing budget, a fancy TED talk, or even an Instagram full of remarkably beautiful dogs. The best personal branding strategy is this: always be 100% authentic. …

Dear Bubble App Employees, After our recent 360-degree company review, it has become clear that your frustration, burnout, and depression are at an all-time high. The top 4 most common answers to the question, “What is the worst thing about your job?” were as follows: “Too many meetings.” “No time…

Oh, my dear boy! Look at how pale you are. Come inside off the stoop this instant and eat something. You’ll catch your death out there. Listen to your grandfather. I insist! Soup Sit down and eat, my lad. You’ve been working too long in the cabbage fields today… Look, soup…

Doorbell rings. Z opens door to find V standing there. V: Hey. I’m invading you. Z: Whoa, what the hell. It’s 2 AM. Go home, V. V: No! Let me in. My sons and I are taking over your house. Z: Dude, you’re drunk again. Please just leave. …